How many times did happen to you that someone hurt you so much that you think you would never forget that person?
I bet a lot. It did happen to me as well. In the beginning, you feel sad, disappointed and betrayed. And you suffer. You feel like paralysed, with no power, no energies.
But then all of a sudden the pain and the suffering become anger. You don’t understand why this happened to you. You did not deserve it.
You start to think that the person who made you suffer, do not deserve your love and your time and you decide to do not talk with this person anymore.
Best case scenario, after some times, the anger goes away and all come back to normal like a wave, without do anything.
Worst case scenario, you think everything is solved but you do still feel something inside; something that you cannot explain and you probably not even think that is connected to what happened.
In my case, for example, everything I hold, it goes to affect my stomach. All of us has a weakness in the body that the stress and the emotions affect. But sometimes you do not realise that and you ask yourself why are you feeling that way? What is wrong with you?
I think this is the point where is important to stop and think. Try to be aware of what is happening in your life and with people around you.
When you start questioning yourself, the answer will come, this is 100% sure.
All of a sudden, in some ways, which could be during a chat with a friend, listening to the music, meditating, talking to your therapist or simply taking time to ask yourself some questions, you do realise that something is there. Something that you thought you did solve but you did not.
And then you realise that to live better, to be happy and feel good you just need to LET IT GO.
You need to find your way. It could be sending a letter to the person that made you suffer. It can be just writing something on your notebook or laptop. It can be any way you want. Just let it go.
I simply prefer to talk to the person directly, even if it is ages we haven’t talk. I think is the best way to solve a situation.
The relationships are complicated. Humans are complicated. You can never imagine what happens in a human’s mind every day, every single minute. All the things happening around us make the difference. Even if we are not conscious about this, our mind is working all the time and it’s constantly activated.
You may think the person who makes you suffer is a bad person and it did on purpose.
But you may be wrong. Maybe that person just reacted at something you did and you did not realise. And so the sequence of misunderstanding just start to happen and this can bring to break a relationship if things are not said clearly out loud.
That is why I think is really important to talk face to face or direct to the person to solve a situation. You may be surprised by what you can get back from the conversation.
Sometimes we risk losing someone really important to us because we did not express ourself. And I truly believe that if this is the case, is no one fault and it is everyone fault. I do believe when it comes to relations, the responsibilities are shared 50/50. And if something goes wrong, there is always a way to fix it or to make peace with ourself.
If this doesn’t happen then, it means you did not made it happen.
So my suggestion for all of you is, whenever something between you and someone you love happens, talk. Just talk and things can be sorted out. If the person doesn’t want to talk, you can’t do much. You cannot force anyone to do anything. But for yourself, you at least have tried. You can say that you did all your best to fix it. You did your 50. You can let it go and free yourself. It’s like a tunnel, in the end, you find the light.
I want to end this with a quote I really love.
“Today I decide to forgive you. Not because you apologised or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace” – Najwa Zebian.