During a warm bath

by Giuls

First, thank you for stopping by to read my words. I am not a poetess and I have no clue about how to write a poem, yet. But I am a human being, and as a human being, I think. Well, as most of them I suppose.
And some thoughts just pop up in my mind all of a sudden after I was crying with “no reason”. I was taking a warm bath and listening to Ludovico Einaudi, my favourite pianist. I was feeling weird and all of a sudden so many thoughts came in my mind and I started to cry. I am not gonna go through everything here but, the point is. I started to ask myself what was wrong and so this was my answer.

I hope you will enjoy.

You know,

I had the pleasure of meeting two lovers.

Two lovers who had been married for 70 years,

and had lived together their whole life.

I always wondered how they did it.

It seems this love no longer exists in my generation,

and that there are other priorities.

Money, career and material possessions characterise this era.

And people, people are much more selfish than before.

But who knows if behind this selfishness there is a desire to feel that true love,

and that this selfishness might not just be the ticket to survive these times.

Why am I saying this?

Because lately I feel divided in two.

Part of me would just like to let go and experience true love.

Without rules, without limits, without worries.

Part of me thinks about how to survive this world.

We no longer have certainties for the future and it seems that right now is the only time to create them in order to feel good later.

So here I am, destroying my existence trying to find a way to survive, now, and in the future.

But in the meantime, the other part of me suffers,

because it needs to love and to be loved.

And yes, I should find a middle ground but I feel that there is no time to slow down my survival process.

This world is too fast.

Thinking back to the two lovers. How I would like to feel that love.

Who knows if I’ll ever give myself the opportunity to really feel it. That love terrifies me.

I saw him leave before she did.

I have seen her suffer for him and from the emptiness he left.

I thought I would never want to be in her shoes and her pain killed my desire to love someone that much.

But now I am here in this fight between pain and love.

And I’ve decided that I have to accept the pain,

in order to experience true love.

And by the way,

those were my grandparents.

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Ilaria November 12, 2020 - 8:05 am


Giuls November 12, 2020 - 10:17 pm



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